Karma Tonic: Chapter 34: Betrayal

“Life is short. From here to that old car you know so well there is a stretch of twenty, twenty-five paces. It is a very short walk. Make those twenty-five steps. Now. Right now. Come just as you are. And we shall live happily ever after. ”

— Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

A woman goes to an astrologer with a crippled heart and a scattered life. She meddles with her horoscope, and passes it to the astrologer. The astrologer stares at it for long and puffs his remaining breath onto the table. Mutters to himself and looks up the woman. He speaks for the first time, 'What do you want to know'? The woman repeats her demand in broken, unorganized syllables, 'Is this ever gonna stop'? The astrologer opens a huge flow chart with various houses of planets, popping in & popping out. He circles three houses in red and looks up at the woman with stern scrutiny, and questions 'What do you survive on.' She clears her throat and says , 'Well, I am a dancer'. The astrologer answers, 'Then go on with it. Don't try to look back, because there's nothing waiting for you back there. Don't look ahead, there's scarcely any light to see the route. Just go on with what you are doing and let the game finish on its own'. The woman appallingly gapes at the astrologer and asks, 'But, that's not an answer to my question! Why not have some normalcy to mundane things? I can certainly change things for myself. I have a heart that is brimming with love, courage that can fight any troupe to protect that love, loyalty that can shake the neighbour's dog and strength that can forgive my own murderer. I'll beat myself black and blue to be loved. I'll let go every fear to enter that dark route. Then why not'? 

Astrologer replies, 'Betrayal follows you'. 

A Story: Take Me Home,Bounty Roads

“I was dead, then alive. 

Weeping, then laughing. 

The power of love came into me, and I became fierce like a lion, 

then tender like the evening star.”  

- Rumi

Four months at NCC Camp, was an exile chosen by her, away from home, in the freezing Delhi Military Area, turned her pale to yellow & callow life. A 13-year old: face that looked Chinese, forehead that looked like grafted from a man, she was returning home after a prideful journey of defense life. The most infamous talkative, turned silent, as if waiting for the storm. Train was rumbling faster to hit at the scheduled time, noisier to shake the anxious guts, while limbo followed everyone's faces. Her face too was getting ridiculous and threatening, as the train moved further.

The fellow cadets were hugging each other, marking sweet goodbyes, exchanging souvenirs and making promises to meet again. But she was lost in her own world, as if someone held her soul and she’s just hanging onto the clutch. She got up suddenly and walked towards the door. She seemed like she was in her deepest slumber, as she footed on the train's door. Few assumed that she'd slip, others watched out of eagerness with a fear that she'd jump. The wind moved swiftly, following and foreseeing the tracks, she stared intently at the missing poles, as if they said something, each time she passed. The train wheels switched the tracks, giving a slight goose pinch to the crowd. The fellow mates got tensed, few called out her name, though nobody dared to come close to her. The train had already entered the junction yet to slow down. The instructor, still tied up with his mind, whether, to rush or hush others, looks bewilderingly unclear. Casting the die, a moment next, avoiding the stiffened circle around him, the instructor hurried towards the door to get hold of the girl. The frantic steps froze when he realised that the girl had already jumped off the train. 

“I want you always to remember me. Will you remember that I existed, and that I stood next to you here like this?” 

The appalled faces, let out themselves from windows and doors, in fear and disgust. Few ran to the door, few screamed vaguely. Most of them looked like they lost their toes during sleep.The girl's body was loosely hanging there. She was hanging in her father’s neck, hugging and kissing him, crying and hugging back. It looked like a valley of heaven, a grandeur of love, as if they were meeting after many worlds and oceans had walked past them!

Jo bhi pyaar se mila, hum ussi ke ho liye

Karma Tonic: Chapter 33: Blue Silences

Painter: Edward Munch

You were in the wind

You dared to sing

You knocked, you blocked me

You shook me, you shattered me

You whispered in my screams

You shouted in my dreams

You scared me like a spirit

You held me till I finicked

You mixed my drinks

You pushed me till the brink

You deceived me with the sky

You broke me till rain played sly

You blue thing, you due thing

You broke my swing

Blue silences,

You broke my swing!